let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
