i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
