I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
