the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
