I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
