I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Can i not drive my cunt home
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
