i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize