Don't you send me to vm
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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