So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
