this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
