i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
