You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
