so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
