Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
