he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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