Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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