bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
