Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
