I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
