mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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