And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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