I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
