I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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