Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
