so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
