is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
