Don't you send me to vm
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
