Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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