Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
