So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
