I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize