my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
