During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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