I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
