so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
