Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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