Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
