Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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