He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I have feelings that need drinking.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
