There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
