why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
