I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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