Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
