You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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