Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i think i have two assholes
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
