Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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