I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
