Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
