Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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