Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
