Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
