You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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