so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
