dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
