Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
