Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
