She's JV to your varsity
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
