The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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