Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
