The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
