Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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