He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize