At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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