oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
