So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
