how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
