i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
