I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
