I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
