Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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