I bet he comes in French.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
