the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
