I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
