is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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