if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
