i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
